During the Journey of Understanding, we spoke to Israeli participant, Yarden Mustaki, about how the loss of a close friend motivated him to rethink his approach to the conflict and take steps to create real change, alongside Palestinians.

“My name is Yarden Mustaki and I live in She’ar Yashuv, Israel. I’m a Politics and Governmental Studies and East Asian Studies student at Tel-Hai College. Alongside this, I intern for the Federation of Local Authorities of Israel. I was in an elite programme in the Prime Minister’s office. This programme gives you the skills to work in foreign affairs as an ambassador.

I’m also an activist. Until now I have been an activist in Reservist on Duty, which is an organisation that fights anti-Semitism and anti-Israeli actions that are happening in the United States and in Europe. We’re there to show the Israeli narrative. It’s not really dialogue, but more a one sided debate. I’ve also recently become a part of the Geneva Initiative, which is an NGO which talks about peace and how to practically create a two state solution.

Now you may be asking why have I, an Israeli activist, suddenly become interested in finding a resolution, a way to find a win-win situation for both sides?

Just over six months ago, I lost a very close friend, a pupil of mine called Ido. He was a soldier in the IDF and was murdered by two terrorists. After he was murdered at a check post, I suddenly started to question why he was murdered, why this had happened to someone so very close to me. He was like a child to me. I taught him. He was my student in the Scouts. He was my cub. Suddenly I heard an echoing voice inside of my head, telling me that something has to change. This fight, this narrative fight that I’ve been involved in is, on the one hand, amazing work, but on the other hand, doesn’t solve the problem. It just puts more wood on the fire. So I said enough is enough. This war of narratives must end. Something has to change.

At the Geneva Initiative, I got the chance to meet Palestinians outside of my work as a combat soldier in the West Bank or as an activist for Reservist on Duty. In the past, I had always told myself that Palestinians lie a lot, cheat and kill people. However, every time that I met Palestinians through the programme, it was good, it was fun, and it was interesting to hear their voices, their words. But I was still questioning their humanity. I was also still questioning if what they’re saying is true.

A few months later, I received a message about this programme, about Journey of Understanding, and I thought, this is an interesting take. Maybe this can bring me the answers that I’m looking for. Do I have a partner on the other side? Is this even possible? Are they human?

During the programme itself, there was a huge, huge, huge rip inside my reality. Shattering mirrors happened inside my brain. I was suddenly speaking to Palestinians, hearing them share their story through a process of firstly understanding yourself, knowing how to listen, and then accepting one another’s truth as it is without judging it.

During the programme, I took part in the Deep Democracy sessions and wow, that opened my eyes. Wow, that made me understand things about myself that I didn’t know, thinking that I hate them (Palestinians), but actually I hate myself. It sounds horrible, but once you actually understand deep democracy and how it works, it really changes your thoughts. My ideology made me neglect to see something that I didn’t want to see or didn’t want to recognise. I didn’t want to recognise that Palestinians are human beings.

Through his sessions, Yonathan has taught us how to remain neutral and has provided us with invaluable conflict resolution tools. These are exactly the tools that I needed to understand because this is the field I want to work in. I want to solve this conflict. I see myself going to the Knesset. I see myself going to the Israeli Parliament. I see myself being elected. I see myself being a diplomat even. I don’t want to die knowing that this conflict still exists. That’s why I’m taking part in programmes like the Geneva Initiative and the Journey of Understanding, so that I can be elected in the future and end this conflict.

I feel like I have found a partner on the ‘other side’ during this programme. During one of the sessions there was a discussion about unequal rights and opportunities. One of the Palestinian participants said ‘help us change’. When they said this, I had a shiver in my body and thought, oh my God, I actually have a partner on the other side. They want our help. They are ready to listen. They are ready to recognise our pain as I am ready to recognise their pain because only from recognition from both sides can we sit in the negotiation tables. Once we understand ourselves and understand the person that is in front of us, then we can resolve the conflict. Then we can sit on the negotiations table.

So yes, we do have a partner on the other side, in my perspective, after I’ve been in this programme, after hearing the hard, hard, hard truth of their reality. I was there, I saw it from my goggles, but then seeing it from their goggles as well, and understanding that they are human beings as well, changed my perspective and my ideology, showed me things that I did not want to see. That process was very hard. The structure of the Journey of Understanding, how it goes from the beginning to the end, the process is amazing. It’s the exact process that a person needs because it needs time. Even for someone like me, who has a little bit of experience, coming here has made me feel like a new student. This programme has given me the answers that I was seeking, it has shown me that I have a partner on the other side.

What’s next? Well, I have a few friends in Israel that are very, very curious about this programme and about the knowledge I gained here. And those friends are actually people that I wish to form a political party with in the future. The only way to change reality is by being there, in Jerusalem, in the Parliament, and that’s what I need to do, and that’s what I’m hoping to achieve in my life.”